Being a Gemini has it's upsides...yep. Well, there's the versatile and communicative, the witty and the liveliness, the curious, charming and creativeness... Ahem. Notice consistency, follow through and decisiveness didn't quite make the cut :\ I can 100% decide what I'm going to do...the way I feel about something because of my innermost morals and values and I can defend it to the core and then the wind will blow and I can be convinced (or just change my mind) and I totally go in the opposite direction. This probably seems so strange to non fence straddlers. I understand. I don't like this quality either, but it is who I am, and try to play defense most of the time just to counteract my impulses for change. You can imagine how this personality deficit affected me during the recent elections. Sheesh. This is NOT about the country's leaders however...nope...this is WAY MORE IMPORTANT... this is about whether to display and/or partake in any Christmas decorating before Thanksgiving. There. I said it. I have these morals that tell me I should wait to turn on Jingle Bells and start making peanut butter balls...party mix...fudge. Crap. I don't have morals concerning food. Let me try again. I have tried very hard to make it a tradition at Casa Griffith to wait until the evening of Thanksgiving or the Friday after (depending on what DaddiO is working) to put up the glorious Arbol de Navidad (that's Christmas tree for my non espanol amigos. Some years I make it, some years I don't. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. That drives me BONKERS. Traditions are supposed to be the SAME, year after year. Hence the word tradition! Will my children grow up and say...well...sometimes we put the tree up on November 18...sometimes Thanksgiving night, one year not until December 1. What kind of horrible mother am I anyway?? Well, I'm a mom that thinks I can feel strongly about relishing one season for the amount of time that feels right and then moving to the next. And maybe that's not the same every year. When first born was in 1st grade, he developed a scary rash and inflamed knee and after rushing to UVA Hospital, a failed attempt to drain non-existent fluid from his knee in the ER, and about a dozen different opinions, the doctor of infectious disease finally identifies as Henoch-Schonlein purpura (HSP) Click here for description and visual (scary, right?) We were supposed to have Thanksgiving at Momaw & Papaw Griffy's that year, but it didn't happen that way. Sometimes life doesn't happen according our idea of tradition even though we give it our all. Sometimes we just have to play the field and adjust our traditions to what life throws our way. We decorated the tree downstairs that year with Riley on the sofa with his leg propped up. I have felt rage over the last week or two at the sight of Christmas decorations filling the stores and hearing some of my friends speak of putting trees up and Christmas shopping. While I can't defend Walmart because I think they are mostly motivated by dollar signs and not the holidays in their hearts, I will stop judging the rest of you all and say, by all means, if you have Christmas in your heart on Oct. 14 and want to cocoon yourself in the warm and glow of Christmas, then by all means, do so. What does it hurt? Furthermore, I came home from work today to an empty house and thought I'd clean a little. I turned on the music channel and landed on Holidays & Happenings and Christmas Music was playing. I started to turn it but thought...What the heck... Then I realized I hadn't had lunch and I decided to have an orange. I peeled the orange and it reminded me of Christmas Eves past at Church when I was a little girl...candlelight services and then over in the fellowship hall for oranges and candy canes and Santa would stop by. Now I want my tree up. Tradition straddler.
If I Ruled the World… Or at least a tiny corner of it…
School
and work would not start until 10 am.
That doesn’t mean you get to sleep in though. Early morning is an incredible time for
reflection and meditation and sunrise watching and snuggles. Nobody should have to get up at run out the
door at 6 am (or before!) It’s just senseless.
There
would be a lot more cookie breaks.
Cookies and milk. Or cookies
and tea if you’re lactose intolerant like me. Oh wait.
I’m not lactose intolerant…I just hate milk :)
Methodically
at 2 pm each and every day, Wreckx N Effect would come across the intercom
and everybody would be required to get up and shake their booties to Rumpshaker. Check baby, check baby 1-2-3-4. Get those happy endorphins stirred up.
Every
single day you would be required to log in something selfless you did for
another individual. Bonus points if
it’s a stranger.
Work
and school week would end at noon on Fridays and not resume until 10 am on
Monday.
There
would be none of this “we don’t keep score” bullcrap. We would keep score. And if you’re under the age of 18, you
will refer to anybody over that age as sir or m’am. Example:
Clean your room. “Yes m’am.”
There
would be more themes. Who doesn’t
love themes? Meatloaf and Movie
Monday, Tijuana Trainwreck Tuesday, Wine & Waffle Wednesday, Thrilling
Treasure Hunt Thursday, and Famous Amos Fridays (see #2)
Kids
would still have to awkwardly learn to square dance in school. (Do they still
have to do that?)
30
minute naps would be permitted.
Well rested people are more productive people.
Bubble gum blowing contests on the 3rd
Friday of the month.
Field trips monthly. Go.
See. Feel. It’s good for the mind and the
soul.
Everybody would get a crash course in home-ec.
101. Sew a button, make change,
make cornbread in an iron skillet.
6 second hugs. Did you know it takes 6 seconds to get the happy hugging endorphins going? Yep. "To be most effective at optimizing the flow of the chemicals oxytocin
and serotonin - which boost mood and promote bonding - hold a hug for at
least six seconds." Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project
I’m convinced
adversity is where we learn our most valuable lessons in life.
This storm sucked
(or should I say it blew…har, har.)
We are 5 days “without”
power. I say “without” because we have
had a generator since Saturday. My
grandparents bought us a generator after one of the snow storms knocked our
power out several years ago, so we have been extremely blessed to have it. We had two fridges and freezers full of food
and that would’ve been horrible to lose all of that food (I know many of you
all did and I am SO very sorry for that.)
Let’s see…I guess
I should give the short version of how things went down in our world Friday
night. Kevin’s mom came in to visit (she
couldn’t have picked a more rotten time, huh?) and we went down to the Cork
& Pork Festival in Covington. Around 8:30, people
started racing around to pack up. I
thought they had lost it and thought they were acting irrational and
prematurely since there was not a cloud in the sky at the time. A vendor with his phone in hand said a storm
had passed through Lewisburg and was coming our way and was U-shaped, producing
dangerous wind, yadda, yadda. I just shook my head
because we have had these silly warnings so many times…snow, storms, etc. We went ahead and left and as we got to the
end of Monroe Street,
the lights were flickering at the Kangaroo station…then Hardees. As we came through Parrish Court, the lights we’re
flickering on the church sign outside Grace Brethern
Church. As we approached Edgemont/JWIS, Kevin looked
in the sky and said, “Oh crap.” In the
sky was...we don’t really know. It was a
vertical cloud and it was moving faster than anything we’ve ever seen
before. Kevin slammed the brakes on and
turned around right in the middle of the road and went back the other way. We pulled over and he watched it in an effort to avoid it's path, then it
turned and went over Pitzer’s Ridge. He
whipped the van around and hit the gas and I’m pretty sure we pulled into the
front yard on two wheels. The kids were
bawling. We ran to the basement. Not two minutes later, something was on fire
across the street from the school and a tree had fallen across the bridge (that
we had just crossed), destroying part of the side of the bridge and blocking
traffic until it could be cut. We ran
downstairs in the dark, scrambling for flashlights and candles, the kids still
crying and worried about everything, with the dogs at the top of the list. The
next door neighbors joined us in the basement as we sat in the dark. It was a scary hour or so and in that time in
the dark, what’s most important in life became extremely visible.
So here I sit at
the church, 5 days later. We still don’t
have power at our house.
The kids went
home with the grandparents where they didn’t have to “rough it.” I regret not making the first-born stay and
de-tox from electronics, but time with family is good too. Maybe I'll throw the breakers in a few weeks and make him endure it for a little while :)
Sunday morning we
had church at the picnic shelter.
Amazing Grace sounds beautiful under there. It was humbling.
We have cooked every
meal on the grill and I can’t remember when I have cooked so much. I forgot how much I loved to cook.
I am certain I
could go for the rest of my life without the tv. I haven't missed it for a second.
We had our
"elderly" (I use the term loosely because at 93. she gets around better than we do most of the time!) neighbor over for dinner and swimming and we talked to some other neighbors
down the street whom we haven’t talked with in ages…well because we’re all just too
busy, of course.
Kevin’s mom taught
me how to heat water on the grill and pour it through the coffeemaker for
coffee on Saturday morning. I could've kissed the woman's feet.
We went to our
neighbors’ house and sat on the back deck and talked each night.
I washed clothes in
the bathtub and hung on the neighbor’s clothesline. We’re installing a clothesline and I will be
making the kids participate in hanging them out.
I’ve loved the
sense of community. I’ve loved how the
days seem to last so much longer.
I know everybody wants the conveniences of power back…a dishwasher and a
washing machine and a light in the bathroom. Me too. As much as I look
forward to returning to the 21st century way of life, I will grieve
this simplicity when it’s gone. I’m
going to make an attempt to try to make simplicity a priority in the Griffith
Family Way of Life.
Thank you Lisa Graf for taking me away from my current task at hand to write seven random facts about myself...because...let's face it...anything is more appealing to me right now than studying for my impending Developmental Psych exam (TOMORROW!)
Random could be my middle name, but instead, it's Renee'.
1. Amanda Renee' Griffith. I wish I would've kept my maiden name Stover in there too when I got married. Who knew I would return to my hometown and many people would know Amanda Stover, but be unsure of Amanda Griffith. So girls, keep that maiden name in there when you get married. If it wasn't so hard to go through the Social Security Administration, I'd just amend it now :)
2. I have one tattoo to date (check back in a week and perhaps this will change.) My teenage Amanda trademark was my red cowboy boots. My tattoo is on my left shoulder blade and is a cowboy boot, a hat and a lasso. I got it when I was 17 and I've never regretted it for a single day. I thought my Dad would kill me when he discovered it, but after 17 years, he has grown to love accepted that you just can't tame a wild mustang bull.
My tat.
The pic is terrible, but you get the idea.
I told Dad last week that I am considering another tat which has a great deal of meaning to both of us and he actually liked it...see...you CAN teach an old dog new tricks ;)
3. I wish I would've never taken stupid accounting in high school and taken art. I didn't realize at the time that art had so many different layers. I just knew that I couldn't draw and I thought that kept me from the world of art. I think I would've loved sculpture and creating things and even if I completely stink, stank, stunk at it, I would've still enjoyed it.
4. I am 34 and still can't figure out what in the world I want to be when I grow up. I have wanted to be the following things: Elementary School: Veterinarian; High School: Hair Stylist/Teacher/Business Something-or-other; College: Teacher/Business Something-or-Other; Twenty Something: Hair Stylist/Teacher/Preschool Teacher/Speech Therapist; Thirty Something: Hair Stylist/High School English Teacher/Writer/Elementary Teacher/Psychologist/Counselor/Social Worker/Coyote Ugly Bartender (leave me alone...can't a 30-something mom of 3 dream???)
So I'm in college. Class by class I'm knocking it out...sometimes three at a time, sometimes two at a time and sometimes just one at a time. I'm not standing idle though and that's what matters. I am 99% 85% sure that I want to teach. I love children. I love their little minds, their innocence, their zest for life, their enthusiasm. If I can't be all of those things I just mentioned, then the next best thing is to teach a group of little sponges that can choose any of those paths or hundreds more. Hopefully I can be the reason that at least one person entered a field or did something with their life and if I can, then it will all be worth it :) Everybody asks me how much longer and I don't know. I don't know how much longer it will take me. When I have one more class left, I'll let you know :)
5. Unique is my favorite word. For the love of Buddha, BE YOURSELF! You have God-given talents and gifts! Seek them, find them and USE THEM! Sure, be inspired by others, but BE YOURSELF! Nobody wants a knock-off Coach purse. We want the real thing. We don't want a knock off you either...we want the real thing :)
6. I do not own a Coach purse because I...gasp...brace yourself...could care less about tags. I love styles from an artistic point of view, so I could truly care less whether the tag says Versace or Faded Glory. True. I do however want a pair of $600 boots. *Shakes head* Whaaa???? I like the style :)
7. If I had an ounce of focus I could rule the world. Or at least write a book. My dream is to one day write something that someone will read...well not someone...like millions of people. Ha! Someone will read this, but it would be really cool if millions did. I need to learn how to focus, but it truly goes against every fiber of my being. It's one of my biggest daily struggles. When I figure it out though, don't forget to vote for Amanda Renee' (STOVER) Griffith, Ruler of the World :)
It all started today when I walked in the
living room and saw the saxophone laying on the couch. The kid was out the door and going down the
road on the school bus, but the saxophone remained. I knew I would have to take the saxophone to
school for the kid because I am oftentimes just as irresponsible and
flighty. The problem wasn’t the
saxophone per se. The problem was my wet
hair, my unpolished face, my 6 year old who hadn’t had breakfast and the sink
full of dirty dishes that I left last night so I could join the family for a
movie. I was counting on having a good
hour and a half to tie up some loose ends around the house before having to run
into work this morning. I was hoping to
get dinner in the crock pot for once and maybe even knock out a workout on the
elliptical. I looked over and saw a
nasty bowl of last night’s dried up baked beans. I thought I was going to puke. Don’t get me wrong…those baked beans were the
bombdiggity last night. But the undumped
baked beans were the last straw in a myriad of things that I suddenly felt I had
no control over.
My first child was born in Bluefield, VA.
We lived in a trailer.
A Single-Wide Trailer
on about an acre of land
with pastures all
around.
I
never appreciated that little modest trailer for what it was.
It
truly was a time in my life of utter simplicity and beauty...at least that’s how
I see it now. I’m pretty sure at the
time that I didn’t enjoy it nearly as much.
To me, it was just a stepping stone until we bought a house of our
own. I was looking
forward--not relishing the splendor that life had to offer at that very
minute. I know it wasn’t perfect
then. Life is never perfect.
I was
lonely back then —no family or friends nearby and my husband was working 10-hour
shifts. He worked two hours away which
meant baby and I spent 14 hours a day together.
I’m pretty sure I had some post-partum depression, too. So amidst my beautiful, perfect recollections
of the past, I know them to be less than the perfect way I am recalling
them.
The amazing 20th century English
author Virginia Woolf said,
"I can only note that the past is beautiful
because one never realizes an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we
don't have complete emotions about the present, only about the past. ”
What a totally amazing and brilliantly true
statement!
We had a covered front porch in that
trailer.
I asked my grandparents if they would part
with their old green wooden porch swing that had provided so many memories
throughout my life. I remember being at Momaw
& Papaw's one time as a little girl. It was summertime and we got a terrible thunderstorm. The power went out. I remember going out on the front porch
after the danger was gone and swinging on the porch swing as it continued to
rain. It's one of those memories that I hold so very close to my heart. When I
close my eyes, I can almost smell the rain.
Kevin and
Riley swinging at Momaw & Papaw's (Mossy, WV)
Kevin installed
in on our front porch. Riley and I spent
lots of mornings and lots of evenings swinging in that old green porch
swing.
Riley, cousin
Alex & Momaw Griffy enjoying the swing
Spring
1999
Just like Virginia Woolf said though, I
didn’t realize the emotion at the time though—I guess I really couldn’t. Looking back, I can see it like it was
yesterday.
It makes me smile and get teary-eyed all in
the same instant. I was young…I was so
very young. Everything was so new and
fresh.
I can
see Riley’s chubby little cheeks and those big blue eyes staring back at me as
he stood on the porch and held onto the swing.
Finally the days came that I would have to put the little wooden gate up
at the edge of the porch so he wouldn’t tumble down the steps.
(here's the
gate)
I can see his little chubby legs in his
rompers.
I can
see my hand holding his—
hands not stained with age spots and signs of
wear and tear—
but young, beautiful hands eager to
experience what the world had to offer.
I remember when we bought Riley his first
little swing all of his own. It was a
little red one and we tied it onto the clothesline pole in the backyard.
I pushed and pushed and pushed him on that
swing. Kevin raised a garden when we
lived in that trailer and I remember him working in the garden and taking breaks
to talk to the man who lived behind us, Mr. Stowers.
Right in here
is where Kevin had his garden and you can see The Stowers house in the distance,
as well as the white fence posts where Kevin
and Mr.
Stowers would chat.
Mr. & Mrs. Stowers didn’t have any
children, but they treated us like their own when we lived there. Mrs. Stowers came to visit me often and
brought us apples from her trees and potatoes from her garden. She invited us to her church and we began
attending and made many friends and many memories.
We moved from that trailer the following
year. We bought a little house in a
sweet little neighborhood in June of 2000. Mr.
Stowers passed away not too long after we moved out of the
trailer.
My dad and my step mom and my sister-in-law
came down before we moved in and we painted almost every room of the house. That was the first time I had ever painted in
my life. I was terrible. So bad.
They were good though, so the walls looked fantastic! It was fun
rehabbing the house, but I
didn’t really appreciate our modest 1000 square foot house for the little gem it
was until after we left. I was always
trying to change it…make it bigger…make it better.
So many memories…
I had a Halloween party the fall that we
moved into our new house. I didn’t realize when I invited our new neighbors
over for a silly Halloween party that they would come to be some of our best
friends. I didn’t know that it would
hurt so much leaving a town that I didn’t grow up in, but I had come to call
“home.”
We moved from Bluefield in March of
2003--nine years ago.
I’m different now.
Life doesn't feel so simple anymore. I have three kids,
husband with crazy shift-working hours. I work. I go to school. I organize things and I head things up. Sometimes I stand back and ask myself who is this woman?? And then
sometimes I look in the mirror, expecting to find the 18 year old that I feel
like I should be, and I wonder who the heck is looking back at me.
Sometimes I
think to myself...who let me do this??? Who let me get married and then gave me
the responsibility of being in charge of three other human beings??? Sometimes
it honestly blows my mind.
I miss that simple girl—that young rookie
with absolutely nothing on her life resume.
I miss the way her eyes glowed with energy and optimism.
Parts
of that girl will always be with me, but I have a lot more chalked up on that
life resume now. My days do not go by at
turtle speed anymore, but rather, at the speed of light.
My days aren’t spent picking dandelions or
admiring hundreds of different blades of grass.
The simplicity of those first years of marriage and motherhood are long
behind me and in their place are practices, games, matches, meetings, services,
parties, rallies, fund raisers, projects, homework, orthodontics, video gaming
and relationship complexities.
The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be." ~Marcel Pagnol
Me soaking up
newborn lovin'
Fall of
1998
It’s a different world. It’s a fast-paced, complex world.
With three children come a lot of duties and
a lot of different schedules.
But a lot of laughs and fun too!
I love my life, despite its pace and it’s
difficulties, and if Virginia Woolf is correct, (and I’m willing to bet she is),
in 15 years, I will look back on 2012 and remember my “glory days”—when I had so
much energy and life was so simple :)
Cheers to the present and the hope that we
will try to relish (at least a little) before it’s the past.
"We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time. "~Art Buchwald
Many of us are familiar with the parable of the mustard seed found in the New Testament gospels.We have been studying the gospel of Mark in Sunday School and I noted a few weeks back that I always think of our children when I hear this parable.I think of planting these tiny seeds of faith, kindness, and love and praying that one day the seed will grow into something greater than any of us can imagine.
I didn’t realize how quickly I would see this parable smack me upside the noggin.It was only but a week later when my nine year old daughter, Natalie said, “Hey mom, listen to this.”She began to read me the following paper that she had written for a contest at school.
Christmas
By Natalie Griffith
Christmas is not about getting new toys or getting gifts.It’s about giving and Jesus’s birth.Yes, you might get toys and other things and that’s fun, but that’s not as important as giving and Jesus’s birth.
Jesus loves you. Not everybody goes to church and not everybody loves him.It’s sad how many people don’t love Him.He came to earth and then he died for you.
I go to church and I will always love Him more than anything in the whole world.Nobody will ever come between me and Jesus.Some people would do it in a heartbeat, but I don’t know why you would not love Him.He died for you!
On Christmas when you are opening your presents, don’t forget to think about Jesus’s birthday.You like your birthday celebration on your birthday.Don’t you think Jesus likes his birthday celebration?He will love you no matter what.He wants you to love him, but he loves you even if you don’t.Nothing will come between me and Jesus!
Did I mention she is 9? Yeah.
When she looked up from her paper, I’m pretty sure you could’ve knocked dear ole Mom over with a feather.Sure, I take my kids to church.We pray, we read our Bibles, we try to help others as much as we can.But then there are times when we’re mean and ugly.Mom and Dad argue, siblings argue, and we all are just looking out for Number One.I have a mouth like a sailor when I choose to use it.I’m not proud of that or the many less than ideal things I have done or said.I’m just a poor sinner who has fallen off of more wagons than Carter has liver pills.Aren’t we all though?Haven’t we all?“I won’t cuss today.”(Then I drop a can of tomato sauce on my toe and scream things that would make an entire fleet of sailors get red in the face.)“I won’t play with this fire or that fire.”Then we do.We are all human.We try, we fail; we fail and we try.And God loves us through it all, even when we say or do the most bone-headed things we can possibly think of.
When Natalie read her words, I couldn’t believe what this little person had come to realize.You can hear the revelations in her writing.It’s as if everything she has been taught since she came into this world is finally coming together.Each Sunday that I took her to church…each Sunday School teacher…each Children’s Church teacher…each grandparent, aunt, uncle, and friend—all had planted a tiny mustard seed in this child.Natalie is going to fail a bazillion times over throughout her life.She is going to do and say things that I don’t even want to think about.She’s human. But I know these seeds are in her heart. Keep on planting, friends. You never know what you say or do might take root in another human being.
Natalie Gray Griffith…you inspire me, kiddo.
“Train a child in the ways of the Lord and he will not depart.” ~Proverbs 22:6
